Wal-Mart. Nuff Said.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate Wal-Mart?  They are always - ALWAYS - out of at least one thing on my list, and they move things around so often that I can't ever just go in, grab something, and run out.  Oh, and they never have enough cashiers.

Never.

Ever.



So, my general practice (when I can't avoid going to Wal-Mart because they do carry some things that Kroger does not - assuming it's in stock when I get there), is to leave Angelyn home with Johnny and block out several hours for a "quick trip" to the store.

I try to be patient with the fact that there is an obstacle course made up of buggies left in the middle of the road and crazy people driving the wrong way down a one-way and non-handicapped people trying to figure out why the Wal-Mart wheelchair stops working in the middle of the parking lot (if they were handicapped, why wouldn't they park in one of the bajillions of handicapped parking spaces?).

After applauding myself for surviving the parking lot, I grab a buggy and begin my shopping.  But, because of the way they lay out Wal-Mart, I have to start at the back of the store where the soft drinks and laundry detergent are, make my way up the aisles toward the bread (otherwise my bread would be smooshed by my Diet Coke in the buggy), and then go all the way BACK to the BACK of the store at the frozen foods and start my way back up toward the meat, so my cold stuff stays as cold as possible.  And then I realize that the vitamins and toothpaste are on the opposite side of the store, so my carefully-planned road map is moot.

Then comes the fun part:  Checking Out!!  Wooooooohooooooo!



Like I said, there are never enough cashiers.  So I choose the shortest line, only to find out what everyone else apparently knew:  this is the slowest cashier in the history of Wal-Mart.  What would have taken someone else about 5 minutes took this girl 25.  No kidding.  I timed it.  Okay, not really, but it felt like 25 minutes.

I finally get to where I'm next, and the lady in front of me is paying out, when there is another delay (as if her holding up the lady in front of this one to go search the store for a gas card to save her ten cents per gallon wasn't bad enough).  The cashier hollers something to this effect:  "Hey, Mr. So-and-So, I need dimes!"

Okay, no big deal.  She needs dimes.  Wait.  What?  Dimes?  So this girl 1) waits until she is completely OUT of dimes to ask for more; and 2) doesn't realize that she can use nickels instead?

By this time I'm just laughing to myself.  It's quite funny, actually.  I didn't want to embarass her by suggesting nickels, so I waited, patiently.

As she was scanning my items, she said, with surprise in her voice, "Do y'all eat a lot of ketchup?"  I was a little confused, because I only bought one bottle (granted, it was the BIGGEST bottle they had), and had to laugh out loud.  "Well, yes, actually, we do,"  I replied.

What I didn't tell her is that this one bottle of ketchup just MIGHT last us a week.  I usually get two or more of them.  I have even bought the restaurant-sized ones before, the kind with the pump, that's like HUGE.

I left Wal-Mart laughing.  Which is much better than how it usually turns out.

Always an Adventure.

:o)  Gotta love Wal-Mart!