Procrastination Is The Key To Sanity

A friend of mine just said, "procrastination is the key to sanity."

Huh?

Hmmmm....

Well, maybe she's got something there.  Some things just need to be procrastinated.

The Obvious One Would Be Death.  Delay driving your car over that cliff.  You might just witness Something Spectacular.

Not so morbid?  Okay, here are some other fun things to procrastinate that WON'T get you into trouble with your boss or Jesus or your spouse or your parents or whomever (not in any particular order):

1. Buying that incredibly expensive whatever thing that will go on sale next week.  Saving money is exhilarating (as I'll find out tomorrow, when I start saving my money).
2. Beating your husband over the head with a baseball bat.  Who's gonna take out the trash if you do that?  Think about it.
3. Getting sick.  Do that next week or something.  Too many fun things to do right now.
4. Road-raging at the teenager driving the car that cut you off, nearly causing a five-car collision.  Especially when your kid's in the car with you.
5. Having kids.  Love mine, but life would be easier if I graduated college first.
6. Shooting the neighbor's cat for making pawprints on your clean car.  Cause there are kids watching.  And you'd have to clean up the bloody mess.  And if you had my luck, you'd miss and the bullet would ricochet and you'd shoot your own eye out.
7. Eating broccoli.  Ewww.  All I can say is there has GOT to be some sort of medicinal use for that stuff that they haven't discovered yet, cause it COULDN'T have been meant for food!
8. Sweeping your floor when your kid wants to read a book to you.  Priorities, people!
9. Girls' Night Out when your hubby wants Family Fun Night In.
10. Burning bridges.  You may need to take an alternate route one day.

See?  I'm not a raving lunatic.  I procrastinate violence.  Be nice today, go Texas-Chainsaw-Massacre tomorrow!  Cause after all, tomorrow is another day.

Maybe she's right.  Procrastination IS the key to sanity!

Just be careful what you procrastinate.

EEYORE FOR PRESIDENT

A friend nominated me for Bloggers Choice Awards - Best Parenting Blog.

Has she READ my blog?!?!?  It's all about how I've failed my child!  Ants in her pants, hellooooooo?

I said, "Why are you nominating me for stuff you know I'm not going to win?  It's just embarrassing."

Her response:  "Quit being an Eeyore!"

My reply:  "I LOVE EEYORE!!!"

Her:  "Kinda figured you would.  Thought you might relate to him…[and, in her best Eeyore voice - sadly lacking the unenthusiasm, by the way]…. 'ho hum, glad you noticed.'"

 

My mind immediately stopped running through all of the visions of my favorite Winnie the Pooh character - losing his tail, having a balloon strapped to his behind, losing at Pooh Sticks - and eeeeked to a halt.

Whoops.

I AM like Eeyore.  I DO expect the worst.  I am pessimistic and faithless and certainly never hopeful.  In fact, as a teenager, I used to brag that my motto is "expect the worst but hope for the best."  Never really mastered the second part.  Eventually gave up the motto and went on to "oh well, it coulda been worse...I guess."

So, with that in mind, and in a certain-to-be-unsuccessful attempt to change my motto to "ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN", I will say click the Bloggers Choice link on this page

And

VOTE FOR EEYORE FOR PRESIDENT!!

 

I mean...vote for my blog as the Best Parenting Blog.

Because, after all, being a parent is about making mistakes.  And getting up and fixing it.  Or at least trying.

And if you vote for this as the Best Parenting Blog, aren't you, in a way, voting for my kid as being the best?  :o)  I mean, I can't be the best parent if my kid is the WORST KID EVER!

So, yes, I will say this IS the best Parenting Blog!

CAUSE MY KID ROCKS!!

And then go to www.abbygailmiller.blogspot.com and vote for hers as the Best Humor Blog.  Cause it is HILARIOUS that she would nominate my blog for Best Parenting Blog!  :o) 

Mow Power To Ya

It is HOT.  Louisiana Summer, middle of a drought (worst in decades, from what I hear).  Quite a few triple-digit temps.

And I love it.

If I didn't have places to be I would drive around town with my windows down.  Unfortunately, church/lawyer's office/grocery store/daycare is not exactly the place to be smelling like you live in a men's locker room.  So I keep my windows up and the air conditioner on.

You're welcome, world.

Well, two weeks ago I had the fantastic opportunity of going to my grandmother's house and mowing her lawn for her.  My grandmother lives on quite a few acres of wooded land which has been mostly cleared and still has a few stumps and quite a lot of trees.  My sister and I each got on a riding lawn mower, full speed, and spent the entire day mowing only about half of the acreage.  Turns out, it's slow going when you have to look out for holes where trees used to be and turning in and out of the ones that are still there and zig-zagging around giant limbs which were never picked up and eventually disappeared in the overgrown grass.  Some of them you just couldn't see until "thump-clank-twang-oopsy".

And maybe I shouldn't admit it, but I stalled a few times in the high grass because I didn't know what a choke was or that I had mine too low or something.  Dad and Poppa David came to my rescue with the pickup truck more than once.

Did I mention triple-digits in the Louisiana Summer Sun?  My bottle of water very quickly became too hot to drink.

And the drought?  Hello, dust!  I was kickin it up like I was plowing the desert!  The dust was so thick on me you could draw pictures on my arms.  I had to hose off twice just to come clean enough to walk through the house to the shower.  I was apparently still quite the sight to see.  My family was laughing at me and snapping pictures left and right (remember - this was AFTER I had stood under the water hose for about five minutes!).  I realized why, when I looked at myself in the mirror.  I didn't hose off my hair, which was completely dirt-colored, and the water didn't actually rinse the dust off.  It just made it look more like mud.  Streaked down my face, neck, and arms.

Luckily, I do NOT have any of those pictures, and thankfully, I have not seen any of them pop up on Facebook.  I have my suspicions that they are being held for future blackmail opportunities (I am scrambling to think of ways to earn enough money to buy back those photos - any suggestions?).

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That was probably the best way I've spent a Saturday in a LONG TIME!

Three days later, however, I received proof of what I had suspected at the time I was mowing.  One portion of my grandmother's land has a smallish patch of what appeared to my inexperienced eye to be the dreaded poison ivy.  And I mowed it.  I winced as I ran over the leaves, but continued along my way for several reasons:  1) it was just too late to turn by the time I realized what it was; 2) I had never actually seen poison ivy and was only going on assumption based on other people's descriptions of the leaves; 3) at least Poppa David wouldn't be the one to mow it.

Let's just say it was an interesting, itchy two weeks.

But the really crazy thing?

The heat, the sun, the drought and dust (although maybe not the poison ivy) - LOVE IT!!!

The peaceful roar of the motor drowning out all sounds outside of my head.  The intense heat searing the back of my neck.  Children sitting on the porch eating ice cream out of a cone as it melted, dripping down their little arms.  Women pulling weeds out of flower beds, men fighting with the weed wackers.  The solitude in the middle of the most amazing, loving family on Earth.  Being useful.

I probably wouldn't love it if my skin were a little bit whiter and I burned in the sun like my husband does.  I probably wouldn't love it if I were incredibly allergic to poison ivy the way some people apparently are.  I probably wouldn't love it if I had to mow that lawn every week instead of having a landlord who does it for me.  I probably wouldn't love it if I were using a push-mower instead of a riding one.  And I know I wouldn't love it if I were in my '80s.

But for now, I can't wait to get back up on that mower and go another round!

Does anyone have a lawn that needs mowing??  Poison Ivy Optional.

Happy Birthday, Angelyn Gayle

My darling little Baby Girl Princess Angelyn,

I called you Princess, because, like I have told you before, if you are the daughter of the King of Kings, that makes you a Princess.  You are one special little girl, and you are loved.

You are turning six today; so very hard to believe.  Just yesterday you were cuddled in my arms as a newborn baby, asleep on my shoulder.  Today, thankfully, you still want to snuggle up to Mommy (I'm not delusional - I know this phase will probably end some time this year), but sadly, you are just too big for me to hold anymore.  I still can't resist those big eyes looking up at me, arms outstretched, so sometimes I push my back to the limit and pick you up.  And pay for it the next day.  But I do treasure our moments together.

When you were five, you: lost four teeth all at once, learned how to swim without floaties, beat me in air hockey, rode a horse for the second time by yourself, learned how to skate, took the Wii to your room, were attacked by ants (which Daddy and I then annihilated for you), completed Kindergarten at the #11-ranked public elementary school in the State of Louisiana with a 97 in Reading and 95 in Math, made several new friends, met Cinderella and Tiana, fell in love with Rapunzel, and realized that you like oranges and "groovy smoothies" from McDonald's (but only the wildberry flavor).

You also learned how to read this past year.  First, I read your children's Bible to you, and now you are reading it to me!  Today, you can pick up any one of your children's books and read them with all of the inflection and soul that I do, without hesitating to sound out words.  You have your daddy's memory - once you have seen or heard it once, you know it forever.  And you have my love for reading and learning.  The most awesome combination I have ever wished for you.  You are the perfect blend of Mom and Dad.

You have some of our not-so-great qualities, too, but those are such that you can learn to live and thrive with them.  God made you this way for a reason; it is up to you to figure out what that reason is, and use your personality to do good things.  You are a sensitive soul.  People touch you profoundly, but also hurt you deeply.  Do not fear things that may or may not  happen.  Bad things will come, but so will the good.  If you can learn to let the bad things go and grab hold of the good in people and situations, then you will do well.

Never lose sight of what is most important - God and family will always be there for you, no matter what.  My arms will always be a safe place for you, no matter how old you are or how far apart we seem.  And if, by God's plan or man's interference, I am not able to be physically there when you need me, you will have my words, memories, and love to hold you tight.

To succeed in life, you will need a good work ethic, pleasant personality, and the best education you can get.  With your love of learning, you will not have to struggle with the education; you just need to keep going.  Don't let life distract you.  A college degree is the smartest investment you can make.  To not receive your degree is the biggest waste of all those years you worked in school.

One last thing before I quit with this year's birthday letter:  I have added a page to my blog about your childhood birthday wishes.  I want you to go back and look at the things you used to want when you were a child.  Look at that, study it, and remember that God, like Mom and Dad, sometimes says NO because it is in your best interest.  But then there are those sweet times when we say yes.  But whether the answer is "yes", "no", or "wait", we all three love you and we want you to be safe, happy, and successful.

I love you, always, no matter what.

Mom